Couples Psychotherapy & Counselling - How I work.

The main focus of how I work with couples is using PACT which is a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. I will use this model, as well as others to help you overcome the difficulties you are experiencing in your relationship.

These sessions may require a two hours session at times but will replace you needing to attend therapy every week for an extended amount of time. This model is a modern approach to which was developed out of exciting, cutting-edge research in three areas.

- The first is neuroscience, the study of the human brain.

- The second is attachment theory, which explains the biological need to bond with others. 

- The third area is the biology of human arousal—meaning the moment-to-moment ability to manage one’s energy, alertness, and readiness to engage. 

This recent thinking and understanding allows for deeper understanding of Couple Therapy and therefore gets to the heart of a problem more quickly and works with the underlying issues in the "here and now". Couples who are keen to do the work in this model report that issues are understood more quickly in real time in the room with me as their couple therapist. This had made their time in couple therapy shorter. 

 

Friday 22 – Sunday 24 September
Weekend Retreat: Advanced Tools For Enlightened Couples

Join Melissa Ferrari for An Insightful and Inspirational Small Group Couples Weekend Retreat at the exclusive Lilianfels Resort and Spa in the Blue Mountains, NSW. 

A couple’s retreat is a great way to re-connect with your partner and remind yourselves of why you are together in the first place. It can often seem as though we are on a roller-coaster of life, without the time to enjoy your connectedness as a couple. Sometimes resentments can build and communication can fall by the wayside, inhibiting your ability to feel close.

This couples retreat has been especially designed for couples to take time out together to re-discover their closeness, to feel the love and respect for each other as individuals and to celebrate that special, unique bond that you share with each other.  

What You Will Learn
The retreat has been designed with a combination of group sessions and a one on one couples session with Melissa.  The retreat will help you both:

  • Deepen your connection and intimacy and help you better understand your partner
  • Understand why feelings change as time goes on
  • Learn to read your partner’s nonverbal behaviour
  • Understand how biology plays an important part in keeping relationships alive 
  • Form mutually satisfying and lasting agreements based on fairness, justice and sensitivity
  • How to bring more aliveness and negotiation to your relationship
  • How to fight well together and stay engaged
  • Move toward secure-functioning with your partner
  • Learn how daily rituals can create the buffer needed for when tougher times strike
  • Learn how to create a "couple bubble"

Fee: $3,500.00 per couple includes:

  • 2 day program with couple relationship education and experiential learning in group and one-to-one session
  • Private, exclusive spacious spa room
  • All meals included:
  • Buffet breakfast and lunch
  • Friday night: 3-course dinner - table for two at the award winning hatted Darley’s restaurant
  • Saturday night: 3-course dinner – table for two at the beautiful Wintergarden Restaurant at the Hydro Majestic Hotel, renowned for its innovative cuisine
  • $100 spa voucher


For further information click here or to reserve your spot, please contact Melissa Ferrari on (02) 4733 4094 or email melissa@melissaferrari.com.au

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For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

Power Couples Activate - Secure Functioning in Couples

This article gives some insight into the model I work with called the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy. Please read and learn a little more about how I work with couples. I am currently approaching my Level 2 Training and completing my training as a PACT therapist. This model was developed by Stan Tatkin - author of Wired For Love.  

http://stantatkinblog.wordpress.com/2014/08/13/power-couplesactivate/

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For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation



Self-Reflection & Triggers

"Through self-reflection we can come to understand what moves us into blame and defense with our partner. To know what may trigger our past or how we have been shaped psychologically can stop us reacting in a way we wouldn't normally want to choose."

Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

Some thoughts on healing in relationships and different levels of maturity!

Some thoughts on healing in relationships and different levels of maturity!

Working with many couples over the years I have been struck by how commonly people hold the view that the flaws we see in others are in some way a reflection of something about ourselves that we either don’t like or don’t want to see. I’ve often questioned this thinking and wondered if it really is true. It’s a way of seeing things that I’d like to challenge. 

Read More

Being curious sends your partner all the right messages!

Do you remember those early weeks and months as your relationship started to take shape when you genuinely wanted to know your partners desires, their likes and dislikes and their take on life? It’s that wonderful phase where you are enamored with each other and nothing gets in the way as you stare into each other’s eyes, ask questions and just listen to each other in a blissful, effortless experience of being with your partner. 

This phase of the relationship is such an important one because this level of inquiry sends a clear message to your partner that you are deeply interested in them and it fosters your connection, building solid bonds which create the foundations for a healthy relationship. It’s like putting the work into building a great relationship without even trying. 

As a couple moves into a committed relationship and things feel more secure we can sometimes assume that our partners have learnt all they need to know. We can assume that, after a while, they “know” us. We may even assume that they “know” our likes and dislikes because you have been together for a while. 

The risk is that assumptions like these can cause stagnation in a relationship and put the fires of being interested and passionate about each other out. Sometimes the comfort of just “knowing” each other is not enough to stay engaged and connected. 

The simple task of checking things out with your partner or asking them if their thoughts, desires or views on life have changed can help keep your relationship alive. 

It is as simple as asking your partner questions like “Is the way we spent our last holiday, the same way you want to spend our next holiday?” or “You once said you don’t like flowers but prefer chocolates, is this still the same for you?”

How and what you ask about is important – its about genuine interest coming from a place of empathy and love. 

These questions can really make a big difference to a relationship because they validate our partners and they send a clear message that we want to connect, we see our partner as an individual and we care about their thoughts and feelings.

So ask questions to promote a good sense of the relationship being healthy and show your level of connection.

By Melissa Ferrari 

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

 

Relationship Tip

Keep exchanges with the one you love postive. Simple gestures like hand holding, gazing into each other's eyes or a gentle touch or stroke can enhance your relationship greatly. Make sure you always respond positively too if you are on the receiving end!! 

* Positive and responsive couple exchanges have been identified as an adaptive strategy of emotion regulation, fostering the experience positive feelings. (Fincham, Stanley, & Beach 2007).

by Melissa Ferrari  

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

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