Refresh Your Relationship This New Year - 2018

Refresh Your Relationship This New Year - 2018

The New Year is a great time to reflect on what changes you’d like to make in your life, which is why resolutions and goals such as losing weight, giving up smoking and saving money are fairly common. But don’t forget about your love life! January is also a good time to think about your relationship health as well.

Read More

Eight Things That Could harm Your Marriage And How To Fix them

Eight Things That Could harm Your Marriage And How To Fix them

As a professional psychotherapist I’ve had the pleasure of working intimately with couples from all walks of life for over 17 years. I’ve seen great acts of kindness in couples and I’ve witnessed some terrible lows. Through the years I’ve seen many patterns and themes emerge that repeat across the many kinds of marriages that exist in today’s modern world. 

From my observation and experience I have created my own list of marriage killers and what needs to be done to stop these playing out in relationships. The good news is that doing the right thing to enhance your attachment is simple and consistency pays off. Avoiding these relationship killers can help transform your relationship!

Read More

Seven Ways to Create and Maintain Loving Connection in your Relationship.

Seven Ways to Create and Maintain Loving Connection in your Relationship.

Keeping the connection you felt when you both first met can take some very simple tips listed below. Some of these can even only take as little as a few seconds. These tips are tried, tested and researched to be effective. They work with the parts of the brain that stimulate the connection of bonding and love through the creation of oxytocin. Yes there is science behind it so try to do a few of these daily. Ready, set, go. 

Read More

A thought on marriage by Melissa Ferrari.

"Marriages are stronger when both people can learn how to soothe each other when distressed or unhappy. It's up to you to know your partner that well. Keep trying new ways to see what works. The map on marriage between the two of you is not fixed and always the same, you need to keep re-creating it to see what works!"

Melissa Ferrari

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

Eight things that could harm your marriage and how to fix them.

Eight things that could harm your marriage and how to fix them.

As a professional psychotherapist I’ve had the pleasure of working intimately with couples from all walks of life for over 15 years. I’ve seen great acts of kindness in couples and I’ve witnessed some terrible lows. Through the years I’ve seen many patterns and themes emerge that repeat across the many kinds of marriages that exist in today’s modern world. 

From my observation and experience I have created my own list of marriage killers and what needs to be done to stop these playing out in relationships. The good news is that doing the right thing to enhance your attachment is simple and consistency pays off. Avoiding these relationship killers can help transform your relationship!

 

Read More

Self-Esteem in Relationships

Know when you don’t feel good about yourself and avoid taking it out on our partner: Depending on where we are in our relationship sometimes how we feel about ourselves (our self esteem) can cause us to lash out at or blame our partners for something. When we don’t feel OK it can lead to us snapping, becoming withdrawn or judgmental.At these times it is important to reflect and think about whether it might be ourselves (rather than our partners) that we are having angry, frustrated or critical feelings about. These feeling can be hard to deal with and even harder to know what to do with them when they strike.

Getting to know yourself and what triggers your responses can help you to understand yourself in relation to your partner and avoid conflict.

Reflecting involves asking yourself why you react in certain ways, particularly if there is a common or repeated trigger. Something may happen at work or when you see a certain friend that leaves you with feelings that are hard to manage. Your partner, the one who is closest to you, may feel safer to lash out at without you fully understanding why.

It is important to reflect on this and maybe even share with your partner, a friend or a therapist, when you are trying to understand what’s happening for you. These situations happen and you may feel disrupted, but talking it through can help.

It is important to work towards self-understanding because not understanding the source of the problem can damage a good relationship over time. Knowing yourself builds stronger relationships and it can also improve a couple’s understanding of each other resulting in a foundation of trust and security.

*The effort you put in and the way you go about repairing your relationship when things go wrong (whether big or small) is a critical factor to relationship success. 

1017267_510873872299633_1700143372_n.jpg

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

Accepting Responsibility in Marriage

Tips to Repairing Relationships  

Accept some responsibility: 

When it comes to conflicts in relationships fault rarely lies with one partner. Usually the conflict results from backward and forward exchanges that can feel repetitive. Not accepting responsibility as a participant is often what we call a “defense” that blocks the openness and shared responsibility happy and fulfilling relationship require. 

Defenses are often unconscious (or beyond our awareness) techniques we have developed to protect ourselves. Each and every one of us has different defenses and it is a natural part of being human. Unfortunately some of these don’t help us move forward particularly in problem solving and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. 

Working on being able to acknowledge where we may have got it wrong and where we could have done things better goes a long way to promoting happiness in a relationship. It requires some self-awareness but that is achievable, particularly if you work together.

Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

imagesCAAGIG1Y.jpg

Important daily transition from work to home in relationships.

When you get home from work today do whatever it takes to help you change roles and leave work behind. Think now about what helps you get into partner and family mode.

Experts say that conscious thought needs to go into the process of leaving work behind so you can be fully with your family. Here are some suggestions:

 1.     Take a shower.  

2.      Change your clothes.

3.       Walk into the house from a different door to the one you left out of.

4.       Throw a ball around for a while, back and forth with a member of the family just chatting.

5.       Check emails etc....as soon as you get home then turn all electrical devices off till later.

6.       Embrace your partner fully (for at least 15 seconds) rather than just a quick “hello".

7.       Do a meditation as soon as you get home - even if only a short one.

Practice this often and notice what impact it has on family life. We need to train ourselves in these daily transitions, especially in a world that is moving so fast.

Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation

5 relationship must haves

5 Relationship Must Haves 

1. Communication.

2. Empathy

3. Time with and for each other.

4. Taking good care of yourself so you can be more content and happy to be around.

5. Fulfilling you own and shared dreams/aspirations. 

Can you add any more?


Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist.

For more tips and information about love, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Love, Life, Relationships & Transformation