Did Valentine’s Day not go as well as you’d hoped this year? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
There can often be a lot of expectation surrounding this annual celebration of love, and once it’s come and gone many singles and couples are left feeling disappointed, rejected or resentful.
Perhaps there was no one special to spend it with, or maybe a partner forgot or didn’t want to do anything romantic? Whatever the reason, for a lot of people the post Valentine’s Day blues is real.
So what can you do about it? Here are my tips for coping with a disappointing February 14:
1. Express your feelings
If you’re upset with your partner then tell them about it. You’d be surprised at how many couples don’t communicate enough and therefore have no idea what the other one wants or expects from the relationship. Just because they might not be into Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate it. Be sure to explain why it’s important to you so you can create a mutual understanding and acknowledgement of your love for one another, and avoid the same situation happening again next year. And if you’re single and feeling down, it can really help to talk to a friend or family member too – whatever you do don’t bottle it up.
2. Reevaluate your relationship
Feeling a bit unloved? This could be a good time to reflect on your relationship. Is it simply that you have different ideas on how to show your love for one another, or could you be drifting apart? Were your expectations on the day too unrealistic, or perhaps you believed the relationship to be more serious than it was? In many cases any issues can be successfully worked through once aired and addressed, however sometimes the lack of romance can indicate something deeper is amiss. So take stock and work out where you stand. Maybe it’s time to attend a couples retreat or have couples therapy?
3. Plan another celebration
If your partner forgot or didn’t realise you wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day, then make plans together to do something else soon. You shouldn’t have to wait another whole year, happy couples celebrate their love every day and schedule special dates often. Likewise, singles should lock in a night out with their friends or something else fun to lift their spirits and show their appreciation for all the love in their life, even if it’s not of a romantic nature. You also never know who you might meet out and about!
4. Put renewed effort into dates
If you’re keen to be in a relationship, then being single on Valentine’s Day can be a good reminder to put a bit more energy into finding that special someone. Sign up for those new dating sites, take up some new interests, accept friend referrals for blind dates and attend any functions you’re invited to. And if you’re in a couple then maybe this is the nudge you need to prioritise things like date nights and spending special one-on-one time together. It’s very easy to become complacent or distracted by busy life in relationships, so use this opportunity to place more importance on your love for one another.
5. Don’t give up on love
It’s important not to lose hope or feel negative about love, even if Valentine’s Day was a dud for you. Work through any misunderstandings, make changes and look after yourself as self-love and care is the foundation for any successful relationship.
If you’re interested in attending a couples retreat, spaces are still available for my next retreat on 18-20 May. For more information or to reserve your spot click here.
For more tips, daily quotes and information about love, dating, relationships and happiness visit my Facebook page Melissa Ferrari - Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert. Also available is information about couple therapy and how it can help your relationships.